انّا للہ و انّا الیه راجعون

illestaritions — Sat, 28 Aug 2010 04:25:41 +0000

“Please give me a chance to live, I have not lived enough,” said a stranger.

A voice echoes in reply saying, “If I gave you one more chance, would you promise to repent and learn to love others around you, and keep me in your mind and in your heart always?”

I woke up from the strangest dream. I dreamt I died.

It took me days to stop thinking I was going to die tomorrow or the day after. It took me hours thinking how it would feel like to leave this earth and be with the one above who created me in the first place, and leave the people I truly love back home.

But I love you more. And I know you love us more, which is why you gave us time to love her, and cherish her, and take care of her on her last days on earth. You made sure we showered her with endless attention, endless prayers, endless faith, and endless hope that she may just recover.

I know you had this all planned out, and I know that this is your way of helping us repent, and believe that you are out there watching over us every single second of every day. I know that when you sent down angels to take her soul away, you wanted us all to be there to make sure she saw us all for the last time – the people who love her most on earth.

And so when she took her last breath and stopped breathing in our arms, she returned to you on a blessed day, and in a blessed month of Ramadhan. We knew then, that she was in a much better place. Though till today, this still feels like a dream.

Dear Nenek,

Taking care of you for the past few weeks when you were still around, will remind me every day that you were a huge chapter in my life, and always will be. And I’m sorry if I have wronged you in any way throughout your life since my existence in this world.

Thank you for loving me for 22 years of my life. Thank you for giving me the chance to learn from you, be with you and care for you. Thank you for being there when I needed a hug and a kiss on my rainy days. Thank you for being just a phone-call away when I needed you. Thank you for smiling and making my day. Thank you for wishing me happy birthday despite the pain you were in. Thank you for laughing with me. Thank you for loving me with your whole heart. Thank you for making sure I was safe. You made me whole.

A part of me died when you left us, but Allah loves you more.

And this unbearable pain in my heart, despite the days, weeks or months that will pass us by, will only remind me of one thing – that you lived, and that you played a part in every one of us. It’s been two weeks since you left us.

I love you. So much.

And I will miss you forever.

Love,
Your Grand Daughter

Oh!

illestaritions — Thu, 03 Jun 2010 07:07:09 +0000

“When Paris sneezes, Europe catches cold.”

- Metternich

32 more hours till my flight to Paris, and a couple of other plane rides and train rides after – but, I have yet to pack. My huge luggage is still empty and despite the fact that I have tons to pack, I’ll be seeing my girls soon for coffee, an interview for an article, dinner to celebrate mother lamb’s 22nd, a movie after and then our boys shall join us. What more can I ask for before I leave for a near month? Hehe. One thing’s for sure, I can’t wait for this long awaited retreat before the crazy months to come when I return. A good kinda crazy. Thank god.

So till then; Europe, here I come! – just because.

rêve

illestaritions — Sun, 02 May 2010 11:24:20 +0000

I’ve been waiting three years for this day to come, and now I’m left with just a month before it happens. I’m finally graduating, and thank god for helping me make it through my last module of my entire university life. I can’t explain how nervous I was when Cherm texted me to check our results. Those split seconds felt like death and if I failed, that would be it. But I didn’t, and I only have the one above to thank and everyone else who believed I wouldn’t fail that horrendous paper. I guess what matters is now, and I have thirty-one days left before I leave to Europe for a month.

On that note, I guess I’ll be writing for a little longer, and who knows what god has planned for me when I come back home! Haha. There’s just so much more I need to do before landing myself a full-time job. So June, I hope May passes quick because I can’t wait for Paris, Edinburgh and London. I’m scared shitless but I know now, it’s time to face the world. Even if it means writing from one of my soon-to-be favourite places on this planet.

Come what may.

Burberry

illestaritions — Mon, 05 Apr 2010 08:30:17 +0000

I’m in love (and completely obsessed) with Emma Watson’s Burberry campaign for the Spring/Summer 2010 Season. I believe the pictures speaks for itself and of course, her gorgeous brother wasn’t the only one she posed with. Also pictured for the campaign along with Emma were Max Hurd, George Craig (frontman of the indie North Yorkshire band; One Night Only) and Matt Gilmour. Emma obviously steals the limelight for this season but I’m thinking they could’ve gone with models like Lasse Pedersen beside Emma and George Craig could’ve looked better.

Needless to say though, I still preferred Burberry’s Spring/Summer 2009 Ad Campaign. Huge difference. Mario Testino did an excellent job for this one and Lily Donaldson looked amazing in the spread.

I have no plans to eat anyone.

illestaritions — Sat, 03 Apr 2010 19:18:55 +0000

“I have a sadness-shield that keeps out all the sadness,
and it’s big enough for all of us.” – Max (Max Records)

I know I was a retard thinking that Whip It was out in Singapore last year, only to find out that it’s been released recently. Well, I truly hope I’m not making the same mistake for this one because oh my god I love this film. Not only is the soundtrack one of my favourites by far this year, but how can I hate one of my most favourite stories ever written? Maurice Sendak’s Where The Wild Things Are was a classic children’s story I grew up with and I remember my mum reading it to me every night before bedtime since I was three. I just love it. Okay, I admit I used to have nightmares about it, but then I grew to love it. What hurts, however, is that I forgot where that book went to. Time to go on a hunt for it.

I don’t know why the film gave me a whole Neverending Story vibe though, maybe it was the characters? So familiar and strangely comforting. Sad as hell, awesome fit of music – Karen O and the Kids; Arcade Fire, Aaron Hemphill, Brian Chase and Nick Zinner, Dean Fertita, Imaad Wasif, Bradford Cox, and Jack Lawrence. For what it’s worth, this one’s a wicked classic worth every penny.

Clover

illestaritions — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 16:39:23 +0000

I don’t know if it’s the luck of the Irish or the fact that St. Patrick’s Day just passed, but I’ve been a fan of my triple green colour palette lately and it’s been so fun to play with. I had one just like this from NYX but it got a tad too moldy due to the humidity in my room years back (humidity counts people) and I found one close enough to replace my lost love from SaSa earlier this year. So yayy! Haha. I don’t know how long the whole green craze will last, but I’m lovin’ it so far. I might just go back to my browns soon enough, of course. But we’ll see. Colour-playgrounds are fun! Hehe. Can’t wait to go crazy at Sephora when my next pay comes in.

In the meantime, check out Tash and Judy’s Kimchi and Buttercup adventures for some beauty indulgence and delicious food platters. I swear they’re adorable beyond words. I love my girls. Hee.

Fanta Overdose

illestaritions — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 13:24:12 +0000

Back from Bintan! Had an amazing time with Stel and Tham. So much fun, laughter, and painful screams from all the tickles and sunburns. The short trip was the best ever escape from all the hectic schedules back in Singapore! The food, fun, sun, sand and sea were all worthwhile, but I hate having to recover from the seasickness that left me suffering in bed for two whole days when I got home. Lol. All in the name of vacation, right? Hehe.

So, where to next ladies?

My Forever

illestaritions — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 17:14:22 +0000

“I, your faithful friend, take you, Chiquititas, with this ring, to be my forever. With the deepest joy, our life is incomplete without each other. As you have pledged to me your heart and soul, so I too happily give you mine. I promise to love you, care for you and will forever be by your side. Our friendship means the world and therefore, throughout life, no matter what may be ahead of us, you are family and I promise to cherish our silliness, randomness, tears, laughter and company, for as long as we all shall live.”

Love, us.

Project Bedroom

illestaritions — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 17:05:00 +0000

Project Room is still in the midst of completion (I’m not even halfway there). So far? 10 garbage bags and incredibly messy corners. I still have no idea how this room of mine will turn out in six months, but we’ll see. I’m still in a dilemma for the colour scheme – peppermint+chocolate or pop art? Or maybe rustic? Who knows. 1 month down, 5 months to go. Hope to get a few things from London/England and Paris while I’m there to spice things up a little. But again, depends on the theme I’m looking for. Oh bother.

In the meantime, here’s a glimpse of the process…

My bedroom is where I can dance when no one’s watching,
and still pretend that the whole world is.